I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
