White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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