Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
