I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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