there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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