he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
