I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
