i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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