the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
