we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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