his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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