Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
