a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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