your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex on a dog bed..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
