Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
