Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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