chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fuck appropriateness.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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