oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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