when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize