I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
