I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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