peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
