Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
