is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
