I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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