First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Terrible idea I love it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
