he shaved USA in his pubs
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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