Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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