if only i could text you this smell
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
