Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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