I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
