Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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