so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
