She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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