bring money and cleavage
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
