I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
