if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
