a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Your dad touched me again.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
