so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish my penis had a tongue
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
