there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
a search helicopter?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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