My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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