I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
did you just send me my own nude
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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