Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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