No awkward lesbian experiences without me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
