I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
