I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
