That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
