i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
