hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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