I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm passing your future prison.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize