Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
