I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
