At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sarcasm needs its own font
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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