i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
