well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize