Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
