you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
