Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Sober January is a disaster.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
