He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
