Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
