Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
