on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
