We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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