she woke up with a sticky ear
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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