She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
