just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left an ass print on the piano.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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