Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
